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How to Build Self Esteem

These tips should help anyone who is struggling to maintain a healthy attitude of self love and good self esteem. Remember to always love yourself and love others as you love yourself. Try not to be so harsh or judgmental on yourself or others.

Adopt a new, more positive attitude. Accept yourself for who you are and love yourself for who you are. Tell yourself “I love you” in the mirror everyday and smile. Spend some time on yourself and your special attributes. Everyone is good at something or enjoys something. What do you like? Do you like art, music, history, making things, movies? Whatever it is you like, begin doing it, even if it’s just a hobby for an hour or two a week. It will make you feel better about yourself and it will help build up your self esteem to know that you are doing something that you enjoy.

Surround yourself with other people who lift you up and are positive. Talk to and hang out with friends and family. Make new friends and find people who love you and genuinely care about you and accept you for who you are and only want the best for you. Choose your friends carefully. Be aware of people who can drag you down or make you feel bad about yourself.

Get to know yourself. What are your values, your beliefs, your morals, your wants, your needs and your taste? The better you know yourself, the easier it will be to love yourself.

Stop trying to be perfect. Perfectionism is a double edged sword. You cannot be perfect, you can only be the best you, you can be. No one in this world is perfect, so don’t berate yourself or tear yourself down for making a mistake or not being perfect. Also, stop comparing yourself to others. You will never be them and they will never be you. Others are not perfect and although it may seem to you that they are, if you would really get to know them and see their life as it truly is, you would realize that not one single person on the face of the planet isn’t struggling constantly or hasn’t been through some struggles in life.

Be kind to others and do nice things for other people. This will help to build your self esteem. This is what can truly make people happy. You will realize that by you making other people happy, you yourself will become happy or happier with your life and yourself. There is no better thing in the world you can do than be good and do good for others.

Always remember that you are a worthy person. You are worthy of love and don’t let no one, including yourself, tell you otherwise, because it is a lie. Do not devalue yourself or your life; you matter, even if you or others think otherwise. Know that you are loved unconditionally by not only other people, but by God or some “higher power”. Just knowing that someone out there cares is enough to help boost your self esteem. Learn over time how to love yourself and forgive yourself for beating yourself up. Never, ever, ever give up.

How to Gain Back Lost Confidence

It can happen after a breakup, a job loss, an illness, a new endeavor — everyone experiences a loss of self-confidence on occasion. But lost confidence doesn’t have to be a permanent part of your identity. Gaining it back takes patience, practice and kindness toward yourself.

Start With Your

Respecting your body and feeling healthy naturally translates into your state of mind. If you’ve lost your confidence and don’t know where to begin, take steps to improve your health. Quality sleep, decent hygiene, proper diet, sunlight, exercise and moderation in your choices all contribute to your body’s optimal functioning. This is your machine — keep it maintained. Caring for your body is a good place to begin when you feel knocked back mentally. Feeling healthy generates positive feelings about yourself, which is a cornerstone of confidence.

Practice Self-Compassion

The way you talk to yourself, or your “self-talk,” influences the way you function in the world. To build back confidence, give yourself encouragement instead of criticism after a mistake. Self-compassion involves viewing your shortcomings both realistically and with kindness. Being compassionate toward yourself is much more effective at boosting motivation than harsh self-judgment, suggest researchers Juliana Breines and Serena Chen in their study “Self-Compassion Increases Self-Improvement Motivation,” published in 2012 in the “Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin.” For instance, if you’ve had a relationship end, don’t dwell on where you may have failed. Instead, tell yourself you have the ability to heal, learn, move forward and find love again.

Teach Yourself to Relax

In sports psychology, a technique for improving performance involves relaxing your body and reprogramming your mind before a game. For example, if you were injured during a game and cannot seem to get back to the same success level, mentally go back through the experience that impacted you. Replace erroneous beliefs such as “I will get hit by the pitch” with realistic, encouraging ones, such as, “I am strong and prepared.” Learn to relax your body when you are in the situation that caused your confidence loss. Deep breathing, experiencing the present moment and relaxing your muscles can teach your body to calm down, and your mind to focus.

Set Yourself Up for a Win

Competence in one area of your life can transfer into your overall self-image. If you engineer small wins for yourself, you remind yourself of your other strengths and abilities. When you’re lost, for example, and figure out your way back, you remember what it feels like to succeed. Experience the feelings of competence that a small victory, such as finishing a puzzle or fixing a leaky faucet, provides. Even a small success, especially in unfamiliar territory, will help you to regain your sense of self-reliance and foster new confidence.

How to Prepare Your Self-Appraisal for a Performance Review

Performance reviews are generally conducted on an annual or a biannual schedule. Self-appraisals are a key component of the review process. Self-appraisals allow the employee performance review process to have a more objective base. They also allow performance reviews to be more thorough, as employees are often aware of smaller projects that they work on throughout the year–projects that a supervisor might have forgotten about. Preparing a self-appraisal is relatively easy, yet thought-provoking.

Focus on Strengths and Areas for Improvement

Gather copies of work you have done during the review period. For example, finance managers could create a file that includes budget reports, headcount analytics and senior management presentations that they worked on during the past 12 months. A good place to start is emails that you sent to colleagues or supervisors. Often these electronic communications have documents or projects that you worked on attached to them. Pull these emails into a folder titled “Self Evaluation.” You’ll refer to these and other hard-copy projects that you worked on as you complete the self-appraisal.

Highlight specific action items that you took to complete individual or team projects. Refer to emails and hard-copy documents of projects that you worked on to list key strengths. For example, a human resources project manager could list organization and teamwork as two strengths. Tie strengths to specific projects. An example for a human resources project manager who has strong organizational skills could list “organized work-stream teams for acquisition of Company ABC to meet aggressive deal and close deadline.” Include communications of praise or appreciation from managers, colleagues, clients or business partners for work that you completed throughout the year. If the company’s performance review system does not have review categories such as leadership, project management, customer relations and communication skills broken out, organize your work strengths into four to five key areas. For example, a customer service telephone representative could categorize her work strengths into areas such as conflict resolution, team interaction, client communication and personal integrity.

Report areas for improvement. Return to emails and hard copies of projects that you have worked on during the year and highlight areas for improvement. Sample items might include unmet goals, times when a project was completed late or times when work had to be redone due to errors. Note two to three areas for improvement in the self-appraisal. Be candid without assigning blame. Include action steps that you can take to minimize or eliminate these weaknesses or/and errors.

Locate in-house or external training courses, programs, seminars or conferences that you can attend that will help you strengthen areas for improvement. Suggest in-house cross-training opportunities that will allow you to work in other departments at the company so that you can stretch and grow your skill set. Do this in addition to noting specific action steps you can take to minimize or eliminate errors or/and weaknesses. Be prepared to discuss with your supervisor coverage for training programs that require you to be away from the office. List the target date to enroll in and complete the training.

Summarize your progress in an overall summary statement at the bottom of the self-appraisal. Write three to six sentences in the summary. Focus on two to three strengths and one area for improvement in the summary. List professional goals that you would like to achieve at the company over the next six to 12 months. These could include items such as progressing to the next pay grade or professional title level, participating in team councils or getting involved in more community-based programs that the firm supports.

How to Develop an Action Plan for Personal Improvement

One of the major obstacles to achieving personal improvement goals is the lack of a good action plan. Developing good action plans is not hard, but you need to learn how to do it efficiently. The result should be an effective road map to get you to your goal. Here’s how to put a personal improvement plan (PIP) together.

A clear goal is needed to start the process. A goal should state what you hope to accomplish and by when it should be achieved. Here are a few examples: (1) I will lose 20 lbs by June 30th; (2) I will work up to doing five 45-minute aerobic walks a week by August 1st; (3) I will add 1,000 new words to my vocabulary within 12 months. Once you have your goal or goals clearly specified you are ready to develop your action plan(s).


Each goal needs a separate action plan because the tasks required to get to each goal may be unique. This step is where your knowledge and creativity are engaged to come up with interesting and motivating strategies or tasks that will make you successful. You also may need to do some research or even possibly require help from a professional such as a personal trainer. Spell out the critical tasks along with any budget if required, and the timing for each task. See the example in step 3. Remember this: you must make allocating time to perform your tasks a high priority in your daily life.


Written records are critical to success in developing and adhering to action plans. A log can also be an important motivational tool. Here’s an example of a fitness action plan recorded in a log. Goal: Add five pounds of muscle in the New Year (12 months). Tasks, Budget and Timing: (1) Join a gym in week 1, $400 for the year and get a benchmark measure of body fat percentage; (2) Hire a Personal Trainer to establish resistance (strength) training routines and a safe progression, $150 for three sessions; (3) Do resistance training at the gym on two or three non-consecutive days of the week; (4) Get updates on your body fat percentage quarterly to determine the increases in your lean body mass (due to adding muscle). Note well: you don’t have to develop plans that cost money!


Use the log you have prepared to track the progress of your plan toward your goal. If progress is slower than anticipated you could either modify your goal by making it more modest, or add more tasks to increase activities, or increase the pace of existing tasks. So you can apply your reason and imagination to close any gap that develops between goal and progress. Seeing real progress being made is highly motivating for sticking with it!


Personal success is not only fulfilling, it’s also motivating for additional improvement. Build on your success as soon as possible by creating additional goals for you to strive for. Once you get on a roll keep it going!


You probably will encounter obstacles and have setbacks. That’s OK. We’re all human. Just get back on that improvement horse and ride it to the finish line. Never give up! Draw on support from family and friends, too, to help keep you on track and motivated.
See the Resources section for related personal improvement topics and strategies

How to Improve Self Concept & Communication

Self-concept is best defined as our beliefs about who we are as an individual and the role we play in society. The way we communicate with the world around us serves as reflection of those beliefs. By altering the way we communicate, we can not only improve the way we come across to people, but change the way we view ourselves.

Steps to Change Your Communicative Self-Concept

Think about how you view yourself. Consider what your strengths may be, and where you have room for improvement. Entertain ideas of the kind of person you want to be, and how you would like to display those qualities.

Compare these ideas with the way the people you interact with may view you. This insight can be gained by contemplating the ways that people react to you. Think about whether they treat you with respect, disdain, indifference or reverence. These reactions are a reflection of their conceptualization of you as an individual.

With any discrepancies in mind between your self-concept and the way people react to you, consider what may be fueling these reactions. If you are soft-spoken and hesitant, people may not have confidence in the information you present. If you are overly aggressive, people may view you as a bully. Non-verbal habits are relevant in this comparison as well. If you slouch or fail to make eye contact, the recipients of your messages may not take you seriously. Contrast your communication tactics with the reactions you are getting and the reactions you would like to be getting to determine the source of these discrepancies.

Make a list of the things you want to change in your communication habits to improve the way people view you and to better match the self-concept you are attempting to cultivate. Post this list in a place where you will see it every day to remind you of the changes you are trying to make.

Consciously monitor your communication habits as you interact with the people in your life. Pay attention to your posture, eye contact, tone and volume. Continuously tweak your communication strategies as you move forward, and your self-concept will continue to improve.